The Energy of Compassion

In August 2009, I took a trip to Biltmore Castle in Asheville, NC that for me, was a reminder of how the practice of being mindful has helped me open my heart in a way that it could positively affect others.

On this trip, we met H, our friend's twenty-one-year-old son, who seemed to exhibit autistic behaviors. He appeared, by all accounts, to be an angry and intimidating person, and we especially recognized those qualities in him as we had been told about his violent past. He came along on the trip, but constantly displayed disturbing acts and exchanged rude words with his mother in front of everybody. The most dramatic incident occurred when we stopped at the winery: He sat right down in the parking lot and shouted at his mom, refusing to continue walking along with us. Everybody whispered to each other how scary he looked, and how bad a son he was, and that if they had such a son, they would have disowned him long ago.

I was the last person walking behind everyone, and as I looked at this big guy sitting in the middle of the parking lot in the midst of unbearable heat, shouting and cursing, I didn't see a bad or scary young man. Suddenly, I saw a child - one who needed a little pampering, attention and a little understanding for his obvious inner struggle that manifested in such a tantrum. A strong feeling of compassion surged through me. I walked over to him and held out my hand, and said, "come, walk inside with me, it's too hot and sunny out here". To my surprise, he immediately put his hand into mine, and stood up and walked with me towards the others who were already a long way ahead of us. When we caught up with everyone, I let go of his hand so that he wouldn't look, or feel, like a little child, and return to being an independent young adult once again. After that, he became extremely nice and pleasant to everyone. Nobody knew how, or what, made him change like that--nobody saw that we walked in together.

I realized that through the practice of mindfulness, my compassion reveals itself naturally. The words I said to him do not have power on their own, but I think he felt the the energy of compassion in me, which allowed him to open up and connect with me. He was able to trust me and take my hand because it was offered in compassion.